Basic
First day on the job
$14.99
- Professional career portrait
- Official job title and dry professional bio
- Employee ID card
- Share-ready social graphic
Pets get professional
Finally, your pet has a job.
Your pet has been living rent-free long enough. Upload one great photo and answer a few suspiciously relevant questions; Nine to Fido turns the evidence into a polished professional identity built to gift, post, and print.
Digital delivery only. No inventory, shipping, or awkward office onboarding.
Current role
VP of Snack Acquisition
Performance note
Exceeds lunch expectations.
Actually personal.
Built around the pet people already know and love.
Office-ready.
Polished keepsakes, not a novelty-generator screenshot.
Ready to share.
Made for group chats, gift reveals, and home printers.
How it works
A brighter workforce starts at home.
A short intake gives us everything needed to make their new professional life suspiciously believable.
- 01
Submit the headshot
One clear photo of your employee at their most employable.
- 02
Complete the performance review
Tell us what they take too seriously, avoid entirely, and would definitely get fired for.
- 03
Receive their credentials
Their polished career package arrives ready for a post, a gift reveal, or the refrigerator.
Choose their benefits package
Serious deliverables. Deeply unserious employee.
One-time purchase, downloadable files, and no recurring subscription.
Full résumé energy
Deluxe
Executive track
$24.99
The complete professional universe for pets with alarming management potential.
- Everything in Basic
- Full pet résumé and business card
- Employee of the Month poster
- LinkedIn-style profile and phone wallpaper
- Additional social graphics
Optional add-ons may include a second pet, alternate career, coworker team, extra portrait, or print-ready files.
Now hiring
Choose a career package.
Open position: your pet
The freeloading ends today.
Give your favorite animal the title, credentials, and professional presence they have absolutely not earned.
Put Them to Work